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Thoughts to Keep To Yourself at the Office Holiday Party

The office holiday party can be a great time to socialize with your co-workers.

You get to know them on a deeper level and form lasting connections that make coming into the office each day a much more pleasant experience. But, inevitably, there will be some thoughts that cross your mind as you head to the soiree. And these thoughts may not always be glad tidings filled with cheer. In fact some of them may include:

Yes, it’s technically a party, Carl from Accounting, but you’re definitely going to regret that tomorrow…



How did YOU find a plus one to bring to this one and I didn’t?


No, seriously. What am I doing wrong? How is this even feasible?


Is that outfit serious?


Is there a goofy theme I’m not aware of or is she serious? I think she’s serious…




It’s bad enough to have to spend eight hours a day with these people, but now to have to spend extra time with them too….


If they really wanted to celebrate the holiday season, they would just give us all a day off and let us hang out with our real friends.


I know my boss is super into history, but I remember nothing from my high school history classes. Should I just pretend and hope for the best?


Thomas Jefferson.…Ben Franklin. The War of 1812 something or other. Crap. Quick, let me Google some fact that will blow his mind. I need to get a raise ASAP.


If I have to be here, I’m going to drink and eat as much as I can while the company is paying for it.


Pass the shrimp cocktail. Can we get to-go boxes at this thing? I mean seriously.






Lauren Levine is a freelance writer who has contributed to publications and websites including The Huffington Post, Hello Giggles, Bustle, Thought Catalog, The Charlotte Observer, U.S. News & World Report, and others. She’s also the co-host of The Margarita Confessionals podcast. Say hi on Twitter, @lifewithlauren1.